Bacon
- A cock n balls – huge phallic doughnut filled with cream. (with the brides name artfully written across the shaft).
- One covered in Fruit Loops because in University the bride and I made a regular habit of eating dry cereal pretty much all the time.
- One covered in Oreros because… well it was covered in Oreos.
- Two little ones that looked like boobs because it was funny.
- A Wookie, which is their signature shape (a VooDoo Doll, see what they did there?) but decorated as a Wookie.
- Two Maple Blazer Blunts. One was for my BF, and was my second favourite (after the bacon doughnut, obviously). They cost $4.20. See what they did there again??.
- A Portland cream, which is exactly like a Boston cream but they paint two little white eyes on it.
- And finally, a maple bacon doughnut. It was definitely the best thing I’d eaten in Portland. It was just a regular maple glazed bar. WITH BACON. I can’t emphasize enough how awesome it was. We had bacon and eggs that morning as well (so in total, I basically ate 7 pieces of bacon in the space of about an hour) and it was the first doughnut gone.
This time around I had the pumpkin soup with ham. It was really delicious, with a hint of bacon flavor. Refreshingly for my waistline, it also didn’t have any cream.
Now that we got the food bit over with, time to get to the real reason I wanted to go there and write a blog. They probably have the best chocolate fondant in London. I know that’s a huge statement to make, but I’ve had a lot. Like, if it’s on the menu at any restaurant, I’ll order it. And as a testament to how amazing it is at Lucio’s, my husband and I have gone here just for dessert. Like I mentioned before, the staff ate awesome. The owner and his son chat to us all the time and they made a special exception one night when I NEEDED to have some chocolate.
So, by the time the waiter came around, I basically didn’t decide. I ordered the Horny dog (corn dog) and the Breakie.
You can also order tater tots which are these little hasbrown-y things I used to eat almost daily as a kid. They are awesome.
So all in all, The service wasn’t amazing, but we did have a very good time.
I would recommend booking a group of 6 or more, otherwise you’ll be waiting in line for a few hours. Their phones are only open for reservations 9:30am – 11am Tuesday to Saturday. Not the most convenient but you can also book through this email: info@bubbledogs.co.uk. Not instant, but they do get back to you relatively soon.
So, I went all the way to Portland to eat a Voodoo Doughnut. Just Kidding. Sort of. My best friend got married in Portland and Instead of going a million miles just for the wedding, My BF and I went on a whirl wind adventure through Idaho, Portland and Seattle. This is about my food adventure in Portland.
So, from my point of view, the main things to take away from Portland are: There are loads of homeless people on crack/bath salts, hipsters and seriously awesome doughnuts. I also lit my hair on fire in a bar when leaning in for a bridal party picture 2 days before the wedding, so I was talk taking away a little less hair than I came to Portland with.
I saw an episode of Simpsons (coincidentally) right before I left where all these hipsters came to Springfield and this guy was making weird doughnuts and I was all like, wouldn’t that be amazing? And then my BF was like, it’s a real thing and we go there next week. So the whole trip all I could think about was how, between all my bridesmaids duties, was I going to be able to wait in line for 3 hours to eat a doughnut with bacon on it. I honestly didn’t think I’d make it, but thanks to jet lag, I was up stupid early on Saturday morning, the day of the wedding. I went to the gym in a vain attempt to preempt that 8 zillion calories I was about to eat and then got so excited, I left early and ran to VooDoo Doughnut at 730 in the morning in my work out gear, sleeveless in barely above freezing weather. Worth it.
I only had to wait in line for 30 min and when I was almost at the front some obnoxious woman with her 25 kids let them all go individually. Listen, I love kids. I like to entertain them, that’s why I work in kids TV. But, when there is a line around the block to get something, please don’t make said line a million times longer just because your kids wants to hand the lady a dollar. You and your children are not the only people on earth and the group of yummy mummies with their kids in front of you were nice enough to get their s^&t together and order as a group. Rant over.
Needless to say when I finally got to the register I was presented with this:
I basically had my small order in my head and was planning my run back (because at this point I was running half an hour later for my hair appointment, but come on, bacon doughnuts. Priorities.) when I suddenly wanted everything. So I ordered:
I think I may have over estimated how much seven girls will eat right before they have to get into fancy dresses because there were a few leftovers which I delivered to the groomsmen.
In total I spent about an hour getting them and $20. It’s a must if you are in Portland, along with going down to the cost and seeing The Goonies beach… but heads up, don’t wear wedges because you have to hike down and your boyfriend might get mad at you for having to carry you.
Info all right here, they have 3 locations: www.voodoodoughnut.com
Heads up, they only take cash… hipsters for ya.
First off, let me just say this post comes out of love.
Pork, please just be yourself. Nobody likes pork chops, so instead of trying to be ‘the other white meat’ appreciate your own amazingness. Be the best you can be which, incidentally, is bacon. I mean come on, seriously, how amazing you look in this pic with eggs cuddled up in your little brioche love nest?
Be comfortable in your own clothes. If people want white meat they are going to have chicken. They always have and always will. Once you accept that and move on with your life, you’ll finally find the happiness I know you deserve. Dammit, you know you deserve it.
You are so money and it kills me that you can’t appreciate it. Like, look, people even flavor crisps after you. That’s how awesome you are. People are willing to eat anything that just tastes like you. Read that last sentence again and really soak up what that means. You are like the Louis Vuitton of meat, even fake is better than nothing.
So, I hope this serves as a wake up call. Be happy in your own skin Pork, especially when it’s crispy.
Yours forever and always (especially on Eggs Benedict),
Stephanie