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Stephanie

Food

Frenchie Covent Garden

April 20, 2016

Frenchie Covent Garden is not an easy reservation to get. I usually roll my eyes at restaurants with months long waiting lists because by and far my experience has been that they are over hyped. But, when the hub’s French boss said Frenchie was great, I called them up and put my name down for a random Tuesday in April.

A one month wait could actually be seen as getting in early to one of Gregory Marchand’s restaurants. The original Frenchie is in Paris and you essentially have to be Gregory or his wife to even get in. But, when we walked in, there seemed to be space at the bar. So, if you’re in Covent Garden, I’d give it a shot.

First things first, my cocktail was probably one of the best I have ever had. And I have had A LOT of cocktails in my life. I ordered it because it was vodka based and called Once Upon a Time No 2. It was sweet, smoky and just plain old delicious.

There were four of us, so we decided to order a bit of everything and share. If I’m honest, I wasn’t super stoked with the choices for mains. They had Guinea fowl AND pigeon on the menu. Come on, Marchand, I know you’re French, but can we have one normal meat, please?

The menu is divided into bar snacks, starters, mains and dessert. The bar snacks are very small – one portion each. We had the maple bacon scones, which were absolutely delicious!

We also had the duck egg, which was essentially a deviled egg and very delicious.

The ham was very well presented and tasty, but nothing special.

From the starter menu we ordered the smoked char tartare, Cornish crab, lamb ragu and gnocchi.

Again, the portions were quite small but everything was delicious. The tartare looked a little strange but was fantastic.

My favourite was the gnocchi, evidenced by the fact that I inhaled it before I got a real picture. Sorry, this was all that was left when I came out of my cheese and potato induced haze.

We split the two fish mains. They were fantastic and again, small. So if you’re in doubt, definitely order a starter and a main. I preferred the monkfish because it had more vegetables.

We ordered the desserts because one of them had bacon ice cream. Unfortunately bacon ice cream isn’t a Ben and Jerry’s flavor for a reason. It would have been tastier as maple ice cream with bacon bits.

Overall, Frenchie was low key with very tasty food for a reasonable price. It’s right near the Royal Opera House so head over early for a dinner before your show.

What to wear: I was slightly over dressed in a skirt and silk top. It feels like a chic jeans and heels kind of place.

Make sure you order: The cocktail. Seriously. The best I have EVER had.

FRENCHIE

16 Henrietta Street

London

WC2E 8QH

020 7836 4422

http://www.frenchiecoventgarden.com/

Unsolicited Advice

8 Quick fix Diet Tricks I Tried So You Don’t Have To

April 14, 2016

Stephanie

Up until recently, I’ve weighed the same since I was 16. No matter what I ate or how much exercise I did, or more accurately, didn’t do, nothing changed. And then I turned 30 and everything pretty much went down hill from there. And it’s not even a lot. 10lbs is that annoying amount of weight to gain where all your clothes are just a little too tight, but they still fit which means you forget you’re on a diet when inhaling Burger King at 3am. Anyway, in order to get back in shape for my wedding I was willing to try anything (except actual work, obviously) so here is some of the stupid shit I tried, so you never have to.

Apple cider vinegar. Ever read those blogs where a skinny girl does something every day because it’s ‘healthy’ and you read, ‘I’m skinny because I eat chia seeds’? Well, that’s what apple cider vinegar was for me. I read some random article that said drinking a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar with water can block the carbs you eat. So I did that and proceeded to eat a hot dog, mac and cheese and truffle parmesan fries. I woke up in the morning and had gained 1.4 pounds.

Waist Trainers. I don’t follow the Kardashians on Instagram (although if I was going to, I’d definitely be a Khloe girl) nor have I ever seen their TV show. But, I’m not immune to their power on the Daily Mail. So, when I saw all these girls with small waists saying they got that way essentially wearing a girdle, I hopped right on that band wagon without a second thought. Now, obviously I didn’t buy an expensive one like they advertise. Nope. I went right on amazon and found the cheapest old lady girdle they had. I wore it during the day and noticed nothing. Then I read that Jessica Alba wore it 24/7 after she gave birth to keep her shape so I wore it to bed. Half way through the first night I had a panic attack and ripped it off. Worst £12 I ever spent.

(Nemi, best comic ever, BTW)

Not eating carbs. That lasted about 5 seconds. Everything in the world is basically a carb or kale. Like, vodka is a carb. Smh.

Protein powder. Again. Skinny girls on instargam talking about almond butter matcha smoothies with 800 grams of protein got me thinking. Maybe I’m not eating ENOUGH? So I started putting protein powder in everything I made: Kraft Dinner, chocolate chip cookies, cupcakes, pancakes, soup and even the occasional smoothie. Result? I gained 3lbs.

My fitness pal. The app where you write down everything you ate that day. It tells you if you’re on track to meet your goal, or in my case, it reminds you what a fat kid you are and the red calorie intake number yells FAILURE at you.

Free Personal Trainer Session. You know when you sign up to the gym, you get one of these to help you? Like, they infomercial sell it to you. But this FREE personal training session is worth £100. Did I mention it’s FREE? Well, I don’t own a Slap Chop, but I fell for this one. I’m competitive and was concerned about what they would think of me, so I over did it. I legit had to miss a day of work because I was so sore.

Wrapping myself in hemorrhoid cream and saran wrap. So, you know those wrap things people post amazing transformation pictures about? Well, I can’t get them in the UK and I’m too cheap to buy them so I read somewhere on the interweb that hemorrhoid cream and saran wrap works. I got about half way through wrapping myself before I realized how f*&king stupid it was and threw everything out.

Juice cleanses. I have done these not once but 3 times, and every time lost a couple of pounds, just about killed everyone around me because I was hangry and then went off it only to gain the weight back in approximately the same amount of time that I starved myself. And it costs more than actual food! It got to the point where even people in my office were dropping hints that I should stop. You know you’re being a dick when someone changes your skin enhancer to FOREskin enhancer.

In the end, the only thing that actually worked was not eating candy and working out moderately over 6 months. And then you know what I did? Ate everything in sight after the wedding and I’m back to where I started.

Food, Unsolicited Advice

7 Things You Need to Know Before Going To A Fancy Restaurant

April 14, 2016

Stephanie

1 Comments

I grew up in a (relatively) small place where a fancy restaurant was The Olive Garden. Now that I live in a big town (London) there have been a few times where I went to a fancy restaurant and had no idea how to behave myself. This blog is to help you, dear reader, learn from (or live vicariously through) my mistakes.

Sommelier

A sommelier is someone who picks out wine for you, not a derogatory term for someone from Somalia. They usually come with a pin on their lapel that kind of looks like a grape. This little tidbit was learned when dining at Chez Bruce (Michelin starred, I’ll explain that later) and my date offered to summon the ‘sommelier’ because I was having trouble with picking my starter, never mind the wine. I accused him of being racist. And then a random old French guy showed up and they started talking about dirt. Lesson learned.

Michelin Stars

When I first heard someone bragging that they’d gone to a three Michelin star restaurant as if Jimmy Choo had personally designed a shoe for them, I laughed audibly. 3 stars? I knew of hot dog vendors in Piccadilly Circus that had a better rating than that. But then it was made clear to me that it was something extra, like a gold star. Which, by the way, would be a much more accurate description to denote excellence. Naming it after a tire company? Not so much. Anyway, 3 stars is as fancy as you get and there are only a handful in major cities. 1 star is much more common but still super fancy. And, funny enough, you wont see the Michelin man on any menu in a Michelin starred restaurant. There probably won’t even be prices on the menu for that matter. Just a bunch of things described as ‘pan seared’ (where else would you do it) and ‘corn fed’ (TMI).

Cost

Which brings me to my next point. This meal will probably cost more than your rent or mortgage (if you’re a grown up). Most of the fancy restaurants I’ve been in have separate menus for women that don’t have the prices on them. It’s probably sexist or something, but lets be honest, if I knew I was scarfing down an appetizer that was more expensive than the shoes I was wearing, I would probably so nervous I’d pee myself.

Ordering

Whatever you do, don’t order the Foie Gras, its obese bird liver and tastes like raw bacon. Everything else will come looking funny. I once had a meal come in the same plastic as a flower arrangement and then when they opened it the room was filled with smoke. My boyfriend reassured me this was on purpose. In my next blog I will be sharing my experience at a 3-starred restaurant in San Sebastian. I got something that looked like a beach. Be wary of prawn/shrimp etc. It will come as t did out of the ocean, and in real life prawns aren’t just those cute pink things you dip in cocktail sauce, they are the cockroaches of the sea and have, like, a million legs, antennae and beady eyes. Consider yourself warned.

Cutlery

There is a lot of it and it will seem dented and chewed up, but that’s because it’s real silver and the way they look at it, the older the better. You don’t need to save any cutlery for the next course; they bring you a new set every time. But, cutlery is the best way to signal in a restaurant. The way to tell them you are done with your meal is to put your cutlery together across the left side of the plate. The only thing you really need to know is that the thing that looks like a spatula is for fish.

Surprises

Don’t worry about the amount of food, no matter what, you will have too much. I had a dinner in the middle of nowhere, France at a 3 starred restaurant and literally ate for 4 hours. Like, actually put stuff in my mouth and chewed for 240 minutes. I was STUFFED. Then we had a one-hour break and went to a 1 starred restaurant and ate for a further 4 hours. But it’s not that you order lots. Usually they have the option of a ‘tasting menu’ which means the chef decides. There is usually lots of courses. But even when you do a la carte (fancy French for picking what you want) you will still get these little surprises in between what you actually ordered. Don’t worry, they’re free.

Dress Code

Most people in there will be wearing obscure and expensive designers you’ve never heard of. I just try to go in wearing clean clothes and come out in generally the same condition. And if you have it, bring a nice bag.

Food

The Portman

November 13, 2015

Stephanie

I love free food, so when The Portman invited me to have dinner (partially) on them, I was like, ummm, yes please! The Portman is a gastro pub situated on top of a real pub near Marble Arch. I wasn’t sure I was at the right place at first because downstairs kind of feels like an old man’s pub. However, as I had a drink downstairs and waited for my other half, their hits of 2010 playlist was on fleek! Don’t let the exterior fool you!

Upstairs is fairly newly renovated (although the ladies toilet could use a little work) and the banquette was really comfortable. Seems like a place you would go with colleagues after work, as the hubs and I were the only couple there. Playlist moved to 80s slow jams and it was awesome.

It was really hard to choose what to eat. I was leaning towards the crispy squid but my love of soups got the better of me and I had the broccoli and Stilton soup of the day. It was so good! Not too blue cheesy and the croutons were covered in garlic butter. It was a tad too hot though, so by the time I was able to eat the croutons, they were a little soggy. Still delicious. My husband had the ravioli that was fresh, al dente and tasty. I liked that they allowed you to chose if you wanted to have the sauce and how much.

For our mains I went with good old steak. It was an OK cut of meat but cooked and seasoned very well. I was super excited about their ‘stealth’ fries, which were apparently double cooked with the skin on. The real thing was slightly disappointing (but I did have pretty high hopes). The fries weren’t that crispy. Don’t get me wrong, I still ate them all, but maybe they need to be triple cooked? My steak also came with a salad but I don’t think there was any dressing, so after a few bites of dry leaves I stopped. Plus, I already got my five a day in the soup.

We obviously had dessert and I inhaled the Ferrero Rocher cheesecake. I had to curb my inkling to devour their entire cheese selection because I already had the cheese soup. People who bake cheesecakes are like people who put raisins in cookies (insert rolling eyes emoticon here). Thankfully this one wasn’t! It was really good, a tad rich and, in my opinion, emphasized the worst part of a Ferrero Rocher: The nuts… which actually isn’t that bad.

Overall we had a really good time, the staff were very friendly. They also had a great wine list. I would probably go back if I was in the area doing some shopping. I will say it was a bit expensive for a gastro pub. That being said, we did drink a lot, so that was a big chunk of it.

The Portman

51 Upper Berkeley Street, W1H 7QW

0207 723 8996

www.theportmanmarylebone.com

Food

The Cinnamon Club

November 11, 2015

Stephanie

The Cinnamon Club was massively disappointing. Highlights included paying £30/person for Butter Chicken, made with anorexic chicken legs and completely forgetting to bring out one of our mains. But lets start at the beginning…

My husband had chosen to go there to celebrate his birthday and I was looking forward to it. I’m not actually a huge fan of Indian food, but he introduced me to our local Noor Jahan, which has amazing butter chicken, so when he wanted to go to The Cinnamon Club, I was excited.

I arrived, told the reception it was my husband’s birthday and sat in the bar area which was overly lit with florescent lights. I was told I was the first in our party to arrive and after I ordered my Cosmo (there are no vodka based cocktails on their menu) I waited ages. Turns out my mother in law had in fact arrived before me and was waiting at the table. She eventually found me along with my husband and my drink still hadn’t arrived.

We moved into the dining room which has better lighting and looks like a library. We brought our drinks (which by then had thankfully shown up, and were very good) to the table and I discreetly told the waitress it was my husband’s birthday and we would like some kind of cake with candles at the end.

(Sorry for the mid bite pic! I was so hungry!)

Our starters came out quickly. I had the crisp spinach, which was like spinach tempura and potato chips. It wasn’t the best choice. My husband had the lamb escalope which was the best out of everything we ordered and my MIL had the lobster which was also fairly tasty.

Then came the disaster of a main course. I was really looking forward to this expensive butter chicken. There was gold leaf on the potato balls, and I think that’s where the cost came from, because they certainly didn’t splurge for actual chicken, just the leftover spindly legs. There was no meat on them. So I filled up on rice and naan. I had also ordered the roast cauliflower. That never showed up and we were so disappointed with the chicken, we decided not to bother asking for it.

The banana tarte I had for dessert was okay. What wasn’t okay was when my MIL went to the bathroom and the waitress came out and asked us when we would like the cake and candle for her birthday… in front of my husband. Face palm. I told her of the faux pas and she brought it out anyway for him, quite anticlimactically.

Bit sad, isn’t it? Dessert isn’t supposed to be sad.

If you want to risk it (and bring a wad of cash):

The Cinnamon Club

The Old Westminster Library

30-32 Great Smith Street

London

SW1P 3BU

www.cinnamonclub.com

Food

Roka Canary Wharf

November 4, 2015

Stephanie

2 Comments

First off, I’d like to apologize once again to the woman at Roka Canary Wharf sitting two tables down from me for hitting her in the head with my chopstick. I have no idea how said chopstick went from being in my hand to in your hair, but it happened. Thank you to the gentlemen at the table next to me for attempting to take the blame, when we all know it was me who clearly can’t behave in a fancy restaurant. Also, thank you to physics, the real reason hilarious stuff happens.

Anyway, onto the review. I’d been to Roka’s Charlotte Street location several years ago and remember being freezing cold the whole time. My experience in Roka Canary Wharf was much better than that. Our waitress Martyna was very very good. Our cocktails took a bit longer than expected and you could tell she was angrier about it than we were. When they did arrive, they were delicious! Rome wasn’t built in a day and my cocktail took 20 minutes. Both were worth the wait. I had the raspberry passion and it tasted like raspberry juice that gets you drunk. Like I said, worth it.

We had the premium tasting menu and the wine pairings to go with it. I couldn’t pronounce 90% of the menu, but it was all delicious. The best dish on the menu was the first thing we had, the yellowtail sashimi because it had a truffle dressing. The premium sashimi selection was good, but I did find the tuna to be a little fishy.

As usual, I really liked the spicy tuna roll, which is my favorite kind of sushi. I hate when restaurants cover perfectly good sushi with cayenne pepper and just call it spicy. Roka’s spicy tuna didn’t do that and was very mild but oddly (in a good way) geometric.

By the time we got to the black cod and scallop skewers, I was pretty full. The scallops were good, but I think Hakkasan has a better black cod.

The desert boat was huge! My favorites were the orange sorbet and the chocolate green tea fondant although, full disclosure, I just ate the outside chocolate cake part.

Overall, the meal was delicious, but obviously quite pricy. But that’s not really a surprise in Roka. Insider tip: getting there or home on a weeknight can be a nightmare. I was coming from west London and it wasn’t too bad, but there were massive queues to get into Canary Wharf tube station. This time it was because of the DLR strike, but apparently it’s usually quite bad. Things calmed down around nine. So prepare to stay for the long haul.

Roka

Canary Wharf

+44 (0) 20 7636 5228

http://www.rokarestaurant.com

(Warning: their website has a loud and annoying video that plays on the landing page)

Stephanie Wahlstrom

Hey! Cute top! Flattery gets you everywhere, right? Seriously, though, I like what you've got going on over there. Anyway, my name is Stephanie and I am a Canadian writer living in London. I like to eat, travel and make people laugh. The Accidental Socialite is the name of my debut novel and this blog where you'll find tales of my mishaps and far too many references to bacon. Enjoy!