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    Bodo’s Schloss: Apres Ski Without The Dislocated Shoulder

    So I finally made it inside Bodo’s Scholss! I was pretty excited when I heard about this place because I heart me some apres ski, and I have dislocated my shoulder snowboarding in Kitzbühel, which makes the apres part not so fun.

    I tried to get into Bodo’s Schloss before Christmas, but mistakenly went at 1:30am only to witness a girl being carried out by security sans shoes screaming about being from Essex. Kinda strange when you are in Kensington. Either way, they closed the doors and I clearly wasn’t drunk enough to be there.

    Take 2, my boyfriend and his friends book a civilized dinner table for 5 and I invite my hot Swedish friend Malin. She fits right in there BTW, most of the girls that work there are pretty and blonde. Anyway, we ordered a pretzel as a starter, and this teeny tiny pretzel shows up for all of us to share. If anyone actually wants a piece, you might want to order a few. As far as pretzels go, it was alright but that’s probably an unfair assessment. I have pretty high pretzel standards as demonstrated by the best pretzel I’ve ever had, which was fresh out of the oven on a random lake in Austria. It was so good I battled aggressive swans and wasps to finish it.

    Worth it, picture to prove it.

    Anyway back to Bodo’s and it’s apres ski feel. It’s pretty cool because you can go dressed like this:

    Or like a regular person in a Chelsea club. But if you wear some type of ski-like clothing/mountain wear/lederhosen, you get into the club without cover, so I would recommend that if you aren’t going for dinner. Personally, I wore my Edmonton Oilers hockey jersey and the next day the NHL and players reached an agreement to end the lockout. Just saying maybe people should send me thank you notes/chocolate/bacon.

    I ordered the chicken Schloss Wiener Schnitzel, however I was told this is sacrilegious by the German guy we were with. Apparently it should really only be Veal or Pork. Mine was pretty tasty though and not a bad price at £13.50. They are also huge, more than enough for two girls to share, if you’re into that kind of thing.

    My Wiener

    Bodos is owned by the same peeps that do Mahiki and Whisky Mist, so the music is decent (the DJ booth is a gondola!) and at least the people know how to run a club. Although, based on what I saw outside the first time I was there, they should be a little more selective at the door. They also need to sort the air con if they expect anyone to show up in the summer because it was pretty warm in there and they encourage ski wear. That can lead to some pretty bad smells/looks.

    For more info and to book a table, this is their website: www.bodosschloss.com

    I highly recommend a go. It’s not a gourmet restaurant by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s a fun night out but probably best to have dinner there first, you know to line your stomach for the shot-skis.

    Bodo's Schloss on Urbanspoon Bodo's Schloss on Urbanspoon

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    Food

    Beard to Tail

    So, my boyfriend managed to get me to go to Shoreditch again to eat america BBQ even though our first attempt was an epic failure, (you can read about it here).  This time we were to venture out to a little place called Beard to Tail.  Now, I’m not a massive fan of restaurants that are so explicit about the food you are about to eat (the mains are called Into the Pig and Into the Cow…TMI) but I was willing to try.  And what animal has a beard anyway?

    We waited 45 min to be seated and the hostess was nice, but we were hungry.  Sat and had cocktails first and I drank the only one on the menu that was vodka based.  It was ok.  I forgot to take a picture of it when it was full, but you can use your imagination.

    Anyway, cut to the chase, right?  The menu had loads of meat on it so (obviously) not a place to take a vegetarian on a first date.  It looked promising although the starters were a little blah, and didn’t seem worth the calories.  I wanted the burger, but they didn’t have it (I know, seriously they had like 5 things on the menu) so my boy thought it was a good idea to order the 800g steak AND a rack (or several) of ribs.  It looked like something out of the Flintstones.

    It was tasty, but it took an hour for our food to arrive, so caveman meat was looking pretty good when I was personally ready to gnaw off my own arm.  The sides were the best part though, I highly recommend the cheesy cauliflower.
    The best part of the evening?  The fact that I was actually able to witness two people getting busted for trying to bump nasties the wheelchair bathroom.  Ya, that’s right, I got to see that in real life.  A larger than average girl wearing a sequin black and white dress (not exactly the most discreet outfit when you are planning on doing something like that, but I digress) snuck into the bathroom, whose door faced the entire restaurant.  She was followed shortly by a short skinny boy.  30 seconds into it they were caught by the manager who continued to bang on the door until they came out, which was about 2 min later (poor guy).  Then the manager told them off in front of the whole restaurant.  It was amazing, and they weren’t at all embarrassed.  In fact, they owned it, and then did more shots.
    All said and done, there are definitely better meat places in London.  If you want steak, Gaucho is usually my favorite.  They are all over the city and kind of a chain, but they have consistently decent steak and great wine.
    Where: Beard to Tail, Shoreditch http://www.beardtotail.co.uk .
    Cost: Really expensive for pretty lame service and average food.
    Go for: People watching, particularly those trying to do it in public bathrooms before midnight.
    Wear:  Well, it’s Shoreditch so I wore my Levis jean shirt, black jeans and knee high boots accessorized with my Mulberry clutch.  But it’s a kind of anything goes place, our waitress was wearing a backless bodysuit and black lipstick.
    I’ll leave you with a pic of the dessert, it was tasty!

    Beard to Tail on Urbanspoon

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    Food

    Evans and Peel Detective Agency London

    The girls and I needed a night out and my fab friend Kim suggested we go to to this Evans and Peel Detective Agency/Restaurant. Niche, right?

    So, they don’t really give you any info. We had to make an ‘appointment’ ahead of time and then show up at the location near Earls Court. We met outside to think of our ‘case’. Since we made the reservation for 6 but only 5 of us could make it out of work on time, the story was we were missing out sister.

    We buzz in the discreet door and then give the ‘case worker’ at the front desk a detailed explanation of the situation (Kim: “She looks like Stephanie, except black.”). We also asked for a hot ‘detective’ to comfort us, and weren’t disappointed. A very good looking Aussie came to take our drinks… and that was it.

    We sat there in a room pretty much full of couples and drank £10 vintage cocktails and talked. Which is fine, but I thought there would be an continuation of the whole detective thing.

    Ya, it was decorated well and the bartender had his head shaved save a hand print of hair (literally), but if i was going to drink overpriced cocktails, there are far less high maintenance and more entertaining ways to do it.

    But, if you want to give it a shot: www.evansandpeel.com BTW, nobody enquired about our missing sister at the end of the night. Poor girl.

    Evans and Peel on Urbanspoon

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    Food

    Red Dog Saloon / Pizza East

    So, I was going to write an amazing post all about Red Dog Saloon and their BBQ. But then I went all the f’ing way to Shoreditch and it was closed for some reason. My boyfriend thinks that everyone who worked there ditched work because it was so nice out. But, I did take a picture of the sign to prove I was there:

    So, we walked (in my super cute strawberry print wedges, ASOS sale £12) to Pizza East.

    Anyway, I had the salami, mozzarella and chilli flakes pizza. It was good but a little hard to eat (sauce to cheese to topping ratio was way off). And to be honest, I used to live in New York and really, once you have a slice of Bleeker Street pizza, everything else doesn’t stand a chance.

    Here is said pizza anyway:

    Highlight of the meal was the nice rose my boyfriend picked out (his job is to select the wine, mine is to drink it). I actually liked drinking out of the regular cup. Sometimes I think wine glasses try too hard.

    Location: Pizza East. 56 Shoreditch High Street, London
    Cost: About £12 for a pizza. £30 for nice wine.
    Look out for: Actually, this is a listen out for. They had some great music playing a little too quietly including Johnny Cash and Bob Marley. Pizza East on Urbanspoon

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    Food, Unsolicited Advice

    My love affair with: Hot Dogs

    Now, some people might think it phallic or unnatural that I am obsessed with Hot Dogs.  Whatever, they’re the shiz.  Anyway, here I will reminisce about some of the best hot dogs I have ever had.  

    Caveat: Best hot dog on this side of the Atlantic… nothing beats BBQ hot dogs at home (Canada).

    Le Grand Hot Dog 2009
    Mi amore en Paris.  May you rest in peace somewhere along the Seine. This is honestly one of the best hot dogs I have ever had.  It was your standard dog, in a fresh baguette, covered in the tastiest cheese ever, grilled on the spot in a toaster oven and then topped off with ketchup and (North American!) mustard.  I acquired this foot long god outside Notre Dame and was settling nicely into my bench on the bridge overlooking the Seine.  Sadly, I only enjoyed one bite of it before some freak mini tornado showed up and blew it right out of my hands and into the Seine.  Seriously, I almost cried.  I was broke and could not afford the €2.50 for a new one, so I’ve had to cling on to that one bite and savor it ever since.

     

    Ze Dick Hot Dog 2008
    This gem was discovered my first trip to Germany when I went to Munich for Oktoberfest. Aside from the copious amours of beer I had, this was definitely a highlight for me.  The dog itself was fairly average.  Bun was fresh, as you would expect because people were eating them like it was the only food left in the world.  To be fair it was the only edible thing with in a 1 mile radius, and when you had as much to drink as I did, anything more than 1 mile away may as well have been in Canada.  Dog itself was spicy and the flavor of the mustard worked well with it.  Solid 8/10.  And yes, I ate the whole thing.  
     
    Big Ben 2009
     
    This is what remained of a hot dog I ate from a street vendor in London after leaving Movida one night.  I don’t remember buying it and I don’t remember how the sauce got all over my shoes, but I do remember walking down Regent Street, shoveling it in my face and thinking that I was the shit, that right then and there my life couldn’t get any better.  That is why it is on this list.  And that is also probably why I took this picture on the night bus home.  

     

    Merida 2010
     
    This is the prime example of a hot dog you don’t eat.  I was in Barcelona for work and the camera man was hungry so he suggested this place.  I told him that under no circumstances were we setting foot in that ‘restaurant’ and then took a picture of the ‘menu’ to taunt him with.  Also, it looks like an albino’s penis.  
     
    I have eaten hot dogs since 2009, many of them, I just didn’t take any pictures and they weren’t as memorable as the preceding entries.  My search for The One continues…  

     

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    Food

    Burger and Lobster

    After seeing it on several sites/magazines, one drizzly Tuesday my girlfriends and I decided to take the plunge and try Burger and Lobster.  

    First things first, send one person from your party as early as humanly possible to put down your name. My friend Malin managed to put our name down at 6:30.  Undeterred by the projected 2 hour wait time we headed to Hakkasan in Mayfair where I had the Hakka cocktail which not only came in a beautiful bamboo shaped glass, it also provided a decent buzz for the wait.


    Venue: Hakkasan
    Location: Hakkasan Mayfair, 17 Bruton Street, London, W1J 6QB  
    Cost: £11.50 for a cocktail
    Look out for: tables full of cute men in suits on business dinners

    After an hour at the bar in Hakkasan we moved on to meet the other two ladies in our party at Babble (59 Berkley Square).  Where I had a £4.50 Vodka soda and was asked to have my picture taken with a random woman in the loos. We left shortly after that.

    At 8:30 we were called by the manager Alex and told to make our way to Burger and Lobster.  When we arrived there was a further 45 minute wait but we had the reasonably priced house wine (A Sangiovese red) and got drunker while leering at the table of gorgeous men in the booth by the window.  

    When we finally sat down at 9:15, a lovely Irish girl took our order which was made simple because you have 3 choices:  Burger (with or without cheese and bacon), Grilled Lobster with butter or garlic and lemon butter, or a Lobster Roll.  All come with chips and a salad.  I thought about having the burger (all prime cuts of meat, buns made in house) but Malin insisted that “Nobody goes to Burger and Lobster to have a burger, we could have just gone to Byron.”  Fair point.  

    Now, I’ve been to Maine and had several Lobster rolls, so I was willing to give this one a shot and compare it directly.  There are no words to describe how good this was except to say it went from this:

    To this:

    In like, 14 minutes.

    The rest of the girls had grilled lobster which was equally as mouth watering and the main point of conversation.  This was my favorite piece:

    Kim (who is new to eating lobster): “How do you know which part to eat?”
    Cat (Canadian and eats loads of Lobster): “Just put it in your mouth and if it tastes good swallow.”
    Me (clearly raised in a barn): “That’s what he said.”

    We followed on with dessert and again there were only two choices:  Bailey’s mousse (as Kim said to the witness: “You had me at Bailey’s”) with salted caramel or vanilla cheesecake. We ordered both, and both were amazeballs.  

    Vanilla Cheesecake

    When we finished we asked the waitress to send over Alex, the manager and gushed for a solid 10 min abut the food.  He offered to take us downstairs and see the kitchen and the brothers and sisters of the Nova Scotian lobsters we just ate.  

    He totally looks Canadian, right?

    So to recap:

    Venue: Burger and Lobster 
    Location: 29 Clarges street, Mayfair London W1J 7EF
    Cost: £35/each for four girls with wine and dessert.
    What to wear: Something sexy and stretchy.  I had a food baby well into the next day.  They also provide chic bibs we all wore.
    Look out for:  Cute Welsh rugby players who will walk you to the tube and invite you all out for more drinks.
    Verdict: I never thought I’d say this, but Burger and Lobster is worth the 3 hour wait.

     


    Burger & Lobster on Urbanspoon

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